There is a saying "don't be ashamed of your story. It will inspire others" I have always been ashamed of my story, I still struggle not to be. The truth is creating this beautiful baby was one of the most painful things I have ever gone through.
Most things in my life have come easy for me. When it came to starting a family I always assumed it would be the same. I married the love of my life at 25 and having a baby after we got married was a natural next step. I can summarize my story like this...3 years, a miscarriage, a D&C, 3 iui's, clomid, 3 ivf cycles, tears, breakdowns, complete meltdowns, moments of hope, depression and then a hallelujah and one beautiful baby. This story is something I have told few people. Not even family members. I never thought my pain and struggle would ever be "inspiring".
Before I started my first ivf cycle our fertility nurse said to me as I poured out my heart to her that "this is your story". That has always stayed with me. Just because my story isn't as picture perfect as I imagined, it's still a beautiful story. My husband injected me with literally mind altering drugs 191 times. He peeled me off the floor on many occasions and we fought. We fought for our family, for our baby, and I can honestly say infertility only brought us closer together.
All babies are blessings. You learn that quickly when you realize you may never be blessed with one. But this child is beyond a miracle. Getting to this moment with him has been the greatest struggle of my life, but it's the most beautiful struggle, and it's a beautiful story, it's my story.
I wanted to share my story in the hopes it can inspire anyone who is in this situation. Never give up, never stop fighting and believe in your story.
I got married when I was 25 and he was 28. We had been together for 9 years and were ready to get married and start a family. We started trying to conceive on our wedding night. After 12 months of trying finally we got pregnant! 12 weeks later I was in the hospital getting a D&C for a miscarriage. Devastated, we picked up and started trying again. After another year of trying with no luck we turned to Olive for help.
All of our tests came back great! Which is nice but also frustrating. Being in the "unexplained infertility" category is really confusing. We were young, we had conceived on our own before and on paper everything looked healthy. We were really hopefully with iui but after 3 failed cycles we made the decision with our doctor at Olive to move onto ivf with PGS/CCS testing.
Our first cycle seemed to be an epic failure. We retrieved few eggs and ended up with 2 mosaic embryos and no normals. Heart broken with the results we froze our two questionable embryos and moved onto another ivf cycle.
Our second cycle resulted in a failed day 3 transfer and nothing to freeze. As you can imagine we were panicked at this point. We thought ivf would be a no brainer but after our results we realized there was more than unexplained infertility going on here.
Working with Dr. Hitkari we decided to try a 3rd ivf cycle with a different protocol. He really gave his all with us and we added all the bells and whistles to what we saw as our last cycle. Again...it failed. At this point we were very hopeless.
Dr. Hitkari then suggested we talk to a Geneticist at Women and Children's. After a lot of discussion with Olive and Women and Children's we decided to transfer one of our mosaic embryos from our first cycle. Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant!!
At 6 weeks pregnant I arrived at Olive for an ultrasound. Anna, one of the wonderful nurses at Olive was there holding my hand. And there it was on the ultrasound. A beautiful tiny flicker of a heartbeat! I burst into tears, Anna cheered for us. And 8 months later my son was born. A healthy 8.5lb baby boy.
I am forever grateful for Dr. Hitkari and everyone at Olive. Beating infertility was a great battle but it is one thing I am most proud of.